Dear friends,

No matter your political views, I hope we can agree: murder is wrong.

Like many of you, I’ve been grieving the recent tragedy in the news—the senseless loss of a father whose life became a video his children will have to contend with for years. And in the same week we mark September 11—days of sadness, remembrance, and gratitude—I’ve been reminded how short and precious our time really is.

I’m 49, with two kids—12 and 17. If the average life expectancy is roughly the early 70s, the math is a nudge: every relationship matters; every moment matters; how we make people feel matters. None of it is guaranteed. None of it should be taken for granted.

Marcus Aurelius put it plainly: “Stop whatever you are doing for a moment and ask yourself: Am I afraid of death because I won’t be able to do this anymore?”

That question always stops me. Would I be at peace if this were my last day doing this work, spending this time, or treating someone in this way?

So here’s my invitation...

By Dr. Tom Miller

When school leaders come to me feeling stuck—burned out, frustrated, or unsure why their team isn’t delivering—I often ask one question:

“Where might you be leading from assumption instead of intention?”

It’s a game-changer.

Because here’s the truth: assumptive leadership is everywhere, and it’s silently destroying school culture, team morale, and leadership effectiveness.

What is Assumptive Leadership?

It’s when we assume our staff knows what to do—because they were hired, because they have experience, or because we told them once.

We assume:

• They’re good at what we’re good at.

• They’re motivated by what motivates us.

• They see the school the way we see it.

But they don’t.
And when we lead from assumption, the fallout is real: misalignment, miscommunication, unmet expectations, and a culture of frustration.

I’ve Been There

When I was a principal, I’d spend hours reading articles and curating resources on school leadership and improvemen...

Leadership is rewarding—but it’s not easy. Even the best school and business leaders hit plateaus, get overwhelmed, or start to feel isolated.

I know I have. I've felt stuck many times and feeling stuck really stinks. 

It wasn't until I hired a coach in 2014 did I begin to not just change, but transform my thinking, which accelerated my results. I can barely remember the Tom of 2019, let alone, the Tom of 2014. 

Here are 10 quick signs it might be time to bring a coach into your corner:

1. You’re constantly reacting instead of leading with intention.
2. You make big decisions alone—with no one to process them with.
3. You have a vision, but your team isn’t moving with clarity or urgency.
4. You’re tired of putting out fires and want to build something lasting.
5. You’re repeating the same meetings, conversations, or mistakes.
6. You’re unsure how to grow or empower the leaders around you.
7. You want accountability to focus on what really matters.
8. You’ve hit a personal or professional plateau.
...

Ever see the movie, Planes, Trains and Automobiles with Steve Martin and John Candy?

I love the scene where they are heading down the highway and everyone is beeping at them and yelling...you're going the wrong way...

It's more funny to see it (watch it here) 2 minutes

The sad part is...this just happened to me the other day. 

I have a lot going on right now...my mind is cluttered with emotions and tasks at hand. 

I was trying to get back to my school when suddenly I realized, I was going the wrong way. Not the wrong way on a road (like the classic scene). The opposite direction of my school. 

This is probably why I constantly use my GPS on my phone. 

In order to get from one point to another I need to know:

1. Where I am.

2. Where I am going.

If I get off track, the GPS will adjust my route. 

Wouldn't that be great to have as a school leader?

Do you ever wonder.....

How to build a GPS for your school leadership. 

How to measure where you are and create a clear destinatio...

I’ve got two amazing kids!

I am extremely blessed as they are good human beings and are way more advanced than I was at 11 or 16. Maybe even at 30!

Sometimes they do stuff, like leave their dirty dishes around, the lights on, argue, say a word out loud they shouldn’t, give attitude, bad mouth others, whatever…anything that gets my wife or I on a different emotion.

I've realized that all of the nagging to get them to do something different is pointless.

Because people don’t do what people say. People do what people see. 

That is the Law of the Picture from John Maxwell’s 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. 

I wish I had read a book or had a mentor like John Maxwell in my life in my twenties when I was a young teacher and baseball coach. I had a giant ego, a character that lacked integrity and humility, and a mouth to match. 

I recall making my JV Baseball team run and run and run when I heard them cursing or throwing equipment. Not 20 minutes later I’d be yelling at the umpire, ki...

Recently I was in a conversation with a group of  school leaders and they were sharing how expensive a professional development quote was for their staff.

I shared, well, If you think the price for training is expensive, just wait until you get the bill for incompetence. 

This is a common problem in the field of education. Schools will not invest in their people. They succumb to the “position” trap.

They assume by having the position they don’t need more training. Or worse, they don’t have the position but once they do THEN they will sign up.

What they don’t realize is that leadership evolves daily, not just in a day. Not in an event. 

Even if we are avid readers or listen to podcasts, read blogs and articles, this doesn’t mean we will be better leaders. It just means we are more informed. 

We pour ourselves into work, family, mentoring co-workers, and are involved in community groups or activities.

Being involved with these things is good, but it doesn’t always lead to personal...

In professional development sessions, administrator certification programs, administrative meetings,  we spend a lot of time teaching and telling leaders what to do.

We do not spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop doing. 

I believe in order to be more effective as a leader, you must know what to stop doing.

 One of the most powerful leadership principles I have learned from my leadership mentor John Maxwell is the Law of Priorities from Maxwell's 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership.

The Law of Priorities teaches us that busyness doesn’t equal productivity.

You see, activity is not necessarily accomplishment.

More than half of the school leaders I initially begin to work with as their coach or thinking partner do not need to learn more leadership skills.

They need to learn what to stop doing and where to prioritize their time.

They need to stop trying to do it all and stop trying to learn HOW to do it all.

I challenge you this week to celebrate the things you did not do...